Day Fifty Two!!

Relapse 


How many times have I been on a diet? How many times has that diet failed? How many times have I researched weight loss, new diets, old diets, and success stories? 


Many. But how many times have I admitted that I had an addiction? Once. And let me tell you it’s not fun. When you hear someone say, “I was addicted to crack” you understand because it’s a substance. When someone says “I’m addicted to cigarettes” it’s definitely met with less sympathy but, people still understand that nicotine is addictive. When someone says “I’m addicted to food” well, you can imagine what faces their audience would pull.


For the longest time I didn’t want to say that I’m addicted to food because then I would be saying I lost my power over something others would regard as trivial. Everyone needs to eat, nobody needs crack or cigarettes. 


But when I think of all the diets I have been on, and how many times I have failed those diets and myself, I have to admit that those failures are very much similar to a relapse. What’s interesting is that when I started thinking of going to eat something that’s not apart of my new lifestyle plan, as a relapse it really shocked me into not touching that food. When I admitted to myself that I had a problem it became clear that I really didn’t want to have an addiction. I didn’t want other people to know that I have an addiction. Unfortunately, being the weight that I am, it is actually quite clear to others around me that I am addicted. I am addicted to food. 


So in regards to not losing weight recently Dr. Laurie asked me to take look at my diet more carefully. Food addicts that have stopped eating sugar and flour, who are finding they have cravings that are too big to resist is and indication that there is something in the food plan that is a trigger. So the question is, is there hidden sugar in my food plan?


Food triggers are the most overlooked reason for a relapse. And these low level cravings can be caused by triggers associated with these new foods. Cheating is also a warning sign that the food addict has not fully accepted that they are indeed a food addict. You have to be rigorously honest, says Dr. Laurie. You have to be willing to prepare for your day so that abstinent food is available. Combing through your food diary to look for hidden triggers is really important. So interestingly enough, what I realized was that I was switching addictions. I had started to become extremely interested in coffees. The type of coffee which included Kahlua and Irish Cream liquors, all with whipped topping, as well as cream in the coffee. I had started to add fruit to my jello. I had started to increase my consumption of grapes. 


It is important to recognize that what drives the addict is to seek comfort and pleasure. According to Dr. Laurie, it is very common to substitute one addiction for another. So I actually turned to not only high carb alcohol, but to coffee and fruit as well.