Why you are a cry baby.
Dysfunctional thinking plays an enormous role in how it is that we view ourselves, others, and the world around us. These dysfunctional thoughts include errors in our information processing. When we make assumptions which create negative interpretations and then behaviours, this is dysfunctional thinking. This way of processing keeps us stuck in old ways and habits, and when we become aware of how we process, then we can learn new skills to over come our stuck-ness. When we have healthier thoughts we can start to view ourselves, others, and the world in a more harmonious and realistic manner.
Here are some common categories of dysfunctional thinking;
All or nothing thinking.
With all or nothing thinking it’s literally about all, I can eat everything and anything I want to, or nothing, I can’t eat anything and I will never have fun again. All or nothing thinking results in judgements, criticism, and anger, with the extremes of perfection on the one hand and worthlessness on the other, leading the way to maintaining an unhealthy way of being.
‘Should’ is actually a societal standard. I should be able to eat anything I want! This way of thinking reflects an excessively high and unrealistic standard imposed by yourself or others. A ‘should’ has nothing to do with reality, and keeps us locked in the past.
Catastrophizing is when you blow things out of proportion. You take a challenging situation and make it into a total disaster. You go to the buffet and instead of seeing what it is that you can eat you see everything that you can’t, and you feel like you are set up to fail instead of being able to see the buffet as a inconvenience and a normal part of life and get in touch with the fact that you can be able to manage. Instead, you look at it as the very worst event ever, even when it is that you do have choices.
Over-generalizing is about thinking in absolutes, such as always and never. I never get to have fun, I never get to eat the food I want, I always get short changed. Instead of realizing that it is never always, and it is never never. You have options and opportunities and you have choices.
Minimizing and Magnifying.
You minimize the significance of all that you have been able to do and the pounds that you have successfully lost and magnify the problems or short-comings associated with set backs. Set backs such as; perhaps eating a little too much, or not attaining your goals for the day. Instead of taking things one moment and one day at a time, you find yourself obsessing about the negatives while ignoring all of the positives.
Taking it Personally.
People who take things personally relate everything to themselves. You shoulder the responsibility for everything regardless whether or not you had anything to do with it. Just because you didn’t realize that your food choice was high in carbohydrates at the time, does not mean that you have to blame yourself. Some people do the opposite, they blame everything else but themselves. It is good just to be able to recognize that mistakes happen and instead of taking it personally, just to be able to learn from it, so that you take the learning with you in order to be able to move on.
Emotional reasoning is when you assume that your negative emotions reflect the way in which things actually really are. Feelings by themselves are not a conclusive definition of who you are. Feelings are temporary. We can change our feelings and we sometimes exaggerate our feelings. Feelings are important to pay attention to, but they are only one aspect of our truth.
When we equate food with feeling special, then everything becomes unacceptable unless you get what you need. And if you don't get that need met you conclude that life is not fair. This type of dysfunctional thinking causes people to oscillate between the need for the feeling of specialness, to the other end of the spectrum, the feeling of worthlessness. If you get what you want, then you are special, and if you can’t eat what you want then you are worthless.
When you replace your dysfunctional thoughts with more positive, health promoting, behavioural habits, you can replace these unhealthy ways of being with more supportive, positive, mental habits and start to gain control of your life.
On the quest to lose 50 pounds in a year. Can she do it? Only time will tell....with the help of this blog.