Ever zoned out? Maybe stared at a candle for a while and realized you weren’t doing anything, not even thinking, just watching the flame flicker for several minutes? Ever sit up in bed at 6 in the morning, mind blank, feeling the sun slowly rise as your consciousness does? Believe it or not, you might be disassociating.
Disassociating, is the act of sitting and not thinking, focussing on the feeling of removal, removing your body, and pushing out the thoughts that may intercept at any given moment so you can sit with yourself and ‘be’. I find when I need to disassociate the most is when I am at my most stressed and I realize that my body and mind does it for me when I am not paying attention. I think the most I have disassociated in my life is when I was in high school. I had piles of work that never seemed to get any smaller, I had a brother who always found a way to make me feel guilty about choosing to do my homework over watching anime with him, and my ever growing distrust of teachers as they always seemed to prove me right yet I was always at their mercy. I. Was. Stressed. However, I always caught myself drifting, zoning out, whenever I had a free moment. My mind would wonder into a space that was free of thoughts and worries and stress.
I know what you are thinking, ‘stop making something so typical as a teenager zoning out into something difficult and removing as disassociating.’ Well, first of all, good for you for perceiving disassociating as difficult and meaningful because for me I looked down on it for the longest time. Secondly, I really honestly believe that people not only need to disassociate, but the mind and body I believe subconsciously when it needs to, will act on it, and make you zone out.
I think that is how people stay sane, taking a moment in their busy lives, whether they mean to or not, and let their mind hide away if only for a moment where it cannot be disturbed; in the zone. Disassociating is a lot like meditating. Disassociating is a subconscious endeavour while meditating is a conscious endeavour.
I try to make it a point to meditate everyday, or at least when I remember. I like to sit by myself and listen to the world around me, sometimes I even keep my eyes open if I’m in a beautiful place like sitting next to a body of water or a cluster of trees, and I will make it a point to allow myself a break from life, a vacation in my own mind if you will.
For me, the best part about meditation is that it helps me to practice being with myself, it allows me to experience being okay with myself and helps me learn to shoo away any anxiety that might find its way into my mind. I think the biggest part about being successful with weight loss is being okay with how uncomfortable my body may feel in it’s journey. I have felt uncomfortable with hunger, body parts jiggling because the supportive fat is gone, not having people notice my accomplishments, having people notice my accomplishments, and just the whole damn thing of it.
By learning to sit with myself and experience the uncomfortable or comfortable feelings within my body has hugely helped me with my journey as I have learned I can overcome my need to self comfort and disassociate.
Meditation, however silly it may sound, has strengthened my mind, my willpower, and my determination. Everybody needs a break, even your mind, so give it a try.
On the quest to lose 50 pounds in a year. Can she do it? Only time will tell....with the help of this blog.